How to Deal With a Backseat Driver
What is a Backseat Driver?
A backseat driver is a passenger in a vehicle (not necessarily in the backseat) who gives unsolicited advice to the driver. This type of behavior can contribute to distracted driving. Learn more about how drivers can deal with the much dreaded and aggravating backseat driver.
Do Not Respond with Hostility
Backseat drivers exhibit anxiety when not in control. Instead of responding to their criticism with harsh words — take a deep breathe and respond with calmness. Acknowledge their concerns and consider delegating a task to the backseat driver to keep them occupied.
Give the Backseat Driver Something to Do
This can be a very effective strategy. Channel the backseat driver’s nervousness and anxiety by helping them take their mind off of the situation.
Suggested Tasks to Occupy the Backseat Driver:
- Find music on the radio.
- Provide navigation to the intended destination.
- Research businesses (eg: retail stores, restaurants, bakeries) nearby the final destination.
Communicate Your Feelings and Concerns
Make sure to not discuss concerns or feelings while in the car and just after unsolicited advice from the backseat driver. Emotions can be heightened. Set the framework for a productive and respectful conversation by allowing some time for emotions to wane. Continuing the conversation in a different setting can promote fellowship.
In addition, take a hard look at your driving habits. The backseat driver may have legitimate concerns. Are you well informed with right-of-way rules? Do you know when it is safe to pass another vehicle on the highway?
Quick Tips to Improve Your Driving Habits:
- Carve out some time for self-reflection.
- Put pen to paper and identify areas of improvement.
- Formulate actionable steps to overcoming your driving deficiencies.
- Commit to a deadline for achieving the actionable steps.
Complete an Online Refresher Course on Distracted Driving
Register yourself and your backseat driver for an online refresher course on the topic of distracted driving. Do it together. Learn about the types of distractions, how the brain processes information, the extreme dangers of cell phones and other forms of distracted driving. In addition to furthering the conversation about backseat driving, many car insurance providers offer discounts for completion of proactive driving courses. Be sure to ask your insurance provider for more information and ways to save!
If you’re interested in sharpening your knowledge and becoming a more proactive driver, contact Top Driver today!
Frequently asked questions
What exactly is a backseat driver?
A backseat driver is any passenger who gives the driver unsolicited advice, criticism, or instructions, regardless of where they are actually sitting. The term traditionally refers to someone in the back seat, but the front-seat passenger who keeps grabbing the dashboard, calling out turns, or commenting on your speed counts too. Backseat driving is a real safety issue because it pulls the driver's focus away from the road and adds emotional pressure to an already demanding task. That makes it a form of distracted driving, even when the passenger believes they are being helpful.
How should I respond when a passenger keeps criticizing my driving?
Do not match their energy with hostility, because escalating an argument in a moving car is genuinely dangerous. Take a breath, acknowledge their concern briefly, and stay calm. Most backseat drivers act out because they feel anxious about not being in control, so reassuring them you have heard them often defuses the moment. Save any deeper conversation about their behavior for after the trip is over and emotions have cooled. Trying to litigate it while you are merging onto the highway only adds distraction and tension to both of you.
How can I keep a nervous passenger from backseat driving?
Give them a job. Channeling their nervous energy into a useful task takes their focus off of your driving and gives them a sense of control. Good assignments include finding music on the radio or your phone, handling navigation directions to the destination, looking up nearby businesses like restaurants or gas stations, or watching for a specific exit or street name. Anything that occupies their hands and attention will usually quiet the running commentary, and it turns the trip into a shared task instead of a one-sided critique.
What if the backseat driver actually has a point about my driving?
Be honest with yourself. Sometimes the criticism is annoying, but accurate. After the trip, sit down with pen and paper and audit your habits: do you know right-of-way rules cold, are you confident about when to pass on the highway, are you leaving enough following distance, are you fully stopping at every stop sign? Identify two or three real weak spots, write down concrete steps to fix them, and set a deadline. A short online refresher course on distracted driving or proactive driving can fill the gaps quickly, and many car insurance providers offer discounts when you complete one.
Can taking a refresher course actually help with backseat driver conflicts?
Yes, and the trick is to take it together. Sign up for an online refresher course on distracted driving alongside the backseat driver so you are both learning the same material at the same time. The course covers the types of distractions, how the brain processes driving information, the real risks of cell phone use, and other defensive driving fundamentals. Going through it as a team turns an ongoing argument into a shared conversation grounded in the same facts, and as a bonus, many car insurance carriers offer premium discounts for completing a recognized proactive driving course, so ask your provider before you sign up.
